The 5 words that no new writer wants to hear

When I first started writing, I sat at my computer, covered by night, and wrote what was in my head. I knew that since I had no formal training, some grammatical and punctuation errors were bound to sneak their way into my story. I refused to let that stop me. I believed in my writing so much that I was sure that anyone who read it would have nothing but praise. I was wrong.

“I TOLD MYSELF THAT THIS WAS WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.”

My first project was a story I wrote for a church that I was attending. I did not go a day without reading the story. It was full of twists and turns, love, and heartache, humor, and sadness. Every time I finished reading it, I was overcome with an unexplainable joy. I told myself that this was what I want to do for the rest of my life. That was until I let someone read it.

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The day that I decided to let someone close to me read my story is a day that I will never forget. Excited, I gave him a copy and asked for some feedback. I watched in silence with anticipation as he carefully turned the pages. While he read the story, I read his body, watching, waiting for the chuckles, and the gasps that I was sure would be followed by an abundance of praise. But it never came. He finished reading what I considered some of my best work and put the papers down. I waited for him to say the two words that I was expecting to hear from anyone who read my story, “great job.” But instead, he said five words that still replay in my head to this day, “writing is not for everyone.” My smile quickly retreated. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of my body by this verbal punch to the gut.

                                                          .   .   .

For the next twenty minutes, he talked about the run-on sentences, along with my punctuation and grammatical errors. He didn’t tell me how it made him laugh. Nor did he mention any of the twists and turns, the love and heartache, or the humor and sadness. Instead, he gave me some of the most severe criticism that I had received in my life. He capped off the conversation by expressing the difficulties of being a writer and how focusing on my major was paramount to landing a stable career. Needless to say, I walked away from that conversation discouraged, and I vowed to never write again.

“if you want to be a writer, you will not let my criticisms discourage you.”

Although those words still ring in my ears today, I am actually grateful for that friend. Because after that twenty-minute onslaught of criticisms, he told me, “if you want to be a writer, you will not let my criticisms discourage you.” On that day, he taught me three truths that I keep with me to this day.

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Truth #1

Truth hurts, but we all need to hear it. As a writer, you have to find someone who will tell you the truth about your writing. Find someone who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. This person can highlight some significant areas in your writing that you may need to improve on.

Truth #2 

Criticisms need to fuel your fire, not put it out. There’s an old Proverb that says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Criticism from a friend can help to remind you that If you want to be a writer, you will need to put in the hours required to perfect your craft. They will also help you learn not to let any negative talk keep you from fulfilling your dream.

Truth #3

Writing is not always going to be fun. As a new writer, it’s easy to believe that everyone will love your work. But that will not be the case. You may also think that every time you sit down to write, the words will flow out, and that will not happen either. But I learned not to let those things bother me anymore because I know that I must write through the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I do that by not only remembering what a good friend once told me but adding my own little spin to it, “if you want to be a writer, you will not let my criticisms discourage you, but light a fire under you.” I am glad to share that 11 years later, my fire is burning brighter than ever.

“if you want to be a writer, you will not let my criticisms discourage you, but light a fire under you.”

So what would happen if you conquered your fear of criticism? What would your life look like if you learned to accept it? You might get some honest feedback that pushes you to continue pursuing your dream.